I tucked the sheet in around his feet, untwisted the cord leading to the bed control, and gathered the used paper cups from his bedside table. I needed to be doing something. His silence made me increasingly nervous.
"Enough, enough! Stop fussing and turn on the light. Let's see what you look like." His voice held all the power that his body had lost. I rushed to the switch, a flock of crazed sparrows fluttering in my stomach. "Come here, girl."
I stood by the chrome railing, staring at my scuffed nurse's shoes, sweat gathering in my armpits and under my breasts.
"Look at me." His tone was softer but no less firm. I raised my eyes to his, which were the startling blue of glacial ice. I shivered and burned. "You're new, aren't you?"
"Yes."
"Yes, Sir," he corrected me. My nipples tightened inside my bra.
"Yes, Sir." Just his voice was enough to make me ache.
"What's your name?"
"Cassie, Sir. Cassie Leonard."
"Don't look away, Cassie. Look at me. Do you know who I am?"
"No, Sir. I just started at Lindenwood this week. Before that I was in the rehab department at Miriam Hospital."
"My slaves call me Master Jonathan."
My earlobes, my nipples, my fingertips, all seemed to catch fire. I wanted to sink through the floor. I didn't want him to see how his words excited me.
But he did see. I stared at my hands, knuckles white from gripping the rail.
"You have a boyfriend, don't you?"
"Yes, Sir, I do." An image of Ryan rose in my mind, his brown curls and uneven grin, muscled chest and hard thighs. I did love him, truly I did, with his quirky humor, his gentle fingers and his boyish ardor. He was a fine young man. My mother approved of him.
"He doesn't satisfy you." It was a statement, not a question. Tears of remembered frustration pricked the corners of my eyes. "Why not, Cassie? Is his cock too small?"
I couldn't believe I was having this conversation with a stranger, a patient, a half-paralyzed man forty years older than I was. I stole a glance at Dr. Carver. His mouth was firm but his eyes sparkled with suppressed mirth.
"No, Sir. His cock is fine." Ryan was justifiably proud of his meaty hard-ons.
"What is it then? Is he a selfish lover? Does he come too quickly for you?"
Guilt washed over me. Ryan would happily spend hours licking my pussy and fingering me, trying to get me off. The only way I could manage it was to think about scenes from the kinky porn I hid from him. Whippings and spankings, gags and handcuffs, all the clichés that I couldn't stop myself from wanting.
"Well? Tell me, Cassie. What do you need that he doesn't provide? What do you want?"
My mouth filled with cotton. I couldn't speak. I was acutely aware of my rigid nipples pressing against the starched fabric of my uniform. My clit pulsed like a sore tooth inside my sodden panties.
"Cassie, I'm waiting." His sternness sent electricity shimmering through my limbs. "Don't disappoint me."
I dared a glance at his face. His left eyelid drooped slightly. His eyes snared mine. I couldn't look away. One eyebrow arched in an unspoken question.
"I -- um -- I want him to, uh, to do things to me. That he doesn't want to do." I tried to break away from his gaze, but the force of his will held me.
"Things?" He sounded amused. A fresh wave of hot, wet shame swamped my body. "What sort of things?"
"Uh -- tie me up. Spank me. Use me. Treat me like his slave." It all came out in a rush, the desires I'd never shared with anyone except Ryan. Even then, I'd only shown him the tip of the iceberg, the least perverted of my needs. "He wouldn't, though. He was shocked when I told him. Disgusted. Said that I had a filthy mind." The tears that had gathered earlier spilled out over my cheeks.
"I imagine that you do, little one, delightfully filthy." His voice was a caress, soothing and seductive. "I knew that right away, just from your reactions to my voice. Your deepest desire is to submit to a strong master, isn't it?"
"Yes -- Sir." I felt relief, now that I'd admitted my secret. He at least didn't seem to condemn me.
"You want to be beaten and buggered, shackled to the bed and split open by a huge cock. You want to bath in your master's come, maybe even his piss. To be forced to service his friends."
It was thrilling and horrible, listening to him enumerating my darkest fantasies out loud. My clit felt the size of a ripe plum, swollen and juicy, ready to burst. I nodded, still finding it difficult to expose myself so completely.
"I will do those things for you, if you'd like."
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